“Hormones for Dummies” Part II – Meet the Wenches…

So, Part I in my “Hormones for Dummies” series was a brief guide to how the hormonal system operates- “Why you got to be so complicated?” You can catch up here.

In part II- “Meet the Wenches”, I’ll introduce you to some key hormones in our body and what you may feel when they go a little cray cray.

So, here we go, let me introduce you to……

Wench 1- CORTISOL “Oh my gosh, you are such a stresser!”

Cortisol is known as the stress hormone, generally released in the body by the Adrenal Glands, in a “flight or fight” situation. Historically, this would be fighting a lion or battling a bear. These days it can be triggered by your computer crashing right before you must send those 10 very important e mails before a deadline that was 2 hours ago…. or traffic….. always traffic.

Cortisol aims to mobilise STORED sugar into your bloodstream so that your muscles can quickly metabolise it and act, if needed to, in a “life or death” situation. And you guessed it, the more cortisol, the more sugar released. Your cortisol levels can stay high due to continual exposure to situations the body deems as “stressful”. This means there is no “down time” for your body.

This elevated level of cortisol also means elevated blood sugar levels which means elevated Insulin (the hormone that acts in response to sugar). But wait, isn’t that the hormone associated with Type II Diabetes? Yes, yes it is. Insulin is the hormone responsible for shifting glucose (simple sugar) from blood to cells for use.

Arggggh, hormones, why you got to be so complicated?

Signs you are on the high side of cortisol levels include weight gain; a puffy, flushed face; mood swings and increased anxiety; fatigue; trouble sleeping; irregular periods and fertility problems; high blood pressure; acne or other changes in the skin. Too much cortisol being pumped out can lead to the adrenal glands giving up, also known as Adrenal Fatigue.

Wench 2- Hormones of the THYROID “I wish I had your metabolism.”

Thyroid hormones can be a beautiful thing- they ultimately control your fat burning ability (metabolism).

There are 2 main thyroid hormones; T3 (triiodothyronine) and T4 (thyroxine). T3 and T4 regulate your body’s temperature, heart rate and the golden ticket, the rate of your metabolism.   The amount of thyroid hormones secreted is controlled by another hormone, thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH), which is released from the pituitary gland in your brain.

The pituitary gland acts like the Mains electrical switch in your house, if it flicks off, generally for safety and preservation of your bodies survival priorities, no other circuits, or hormone system, will work properly. For the “mains” to switch off in your body, there has generally been a perceived threat to your survival or an incredibly stressful situation (hello again Cortisol, you wench). Your Pituitary or Mains controller will shut down systems that are not as crucial to your immediate survival or deemed unnecessary at this time, such as maybe your reproductive hormones (estrogen and progesterone) or altering the level of TSH in your system.

Problems occur when the thyroid gland becomes either underactive (hypothyroidism) – or overactive (hyperthyroidism).  Now both HYPER and HYPO thyroidism can be autoimmune mediated, that is, not always caused by external, controllable factors. Yes, they ARE conditions, and unfortunately NOT a transient state. So factors and symptoms can normalise but, you can’t be hyper or hypo for a day or so and then walk around normal as.

Signs this wench is causing you trouble…

If your Thyroid gland is underactive, you may feel fatigue and weight gain and simply attribute these symptoms to getting older.

If your Thyroid gland is overactive, you may experience sudden weight loss, a rapid heartbeat (tachycardia) or pounding of your heart (palpitations) and a level of anxiety or irritability.

Yes, yes, your fat burning ability can be “switched off” from your own body no matter how badly you want to #shredforsummer.

Wenches 3 and 4 – Meet Estrogen and Progesterone “PMS is my mood”

Ahhhhhhh, 2 of the 4 beauties that are responsible for our female reproductive system-Estrogen and Progesterone.

A long history for taking the blame for several behavioural extremities such as a snappier than normal demeanour with loved ones through to being a weepy, highly sensitive “feeler” of all things emotional, these hormones, when in harmony, can be beautiful and what makes us that ultimate quality of female that is being a woman.

Imagine Estrogen, when in a range that is optimal for our individual bodies, as being a Goddess that is all fiery and passion in temperament, in all the right ways, and an empowered sort of sexy. This is the hormone responsible for the development of our secondary sexual characteristics such as boobs and pubes. It makes us confident and ready for a challenge.

Progesterone is the perfect companion and when in a good ratio to our Estrogen, a balanced and yin sort of mate, a chilled and blissed out  calm femininity.   This is the sedating hormone; it slows you down and makes you quieter, more cautious and a bit foggy and physically fatigued.  If you are sensitive to it, you can be weepy and sad.

Two friends in harmony; one a fiery, sexy Samba dancer, the other a loving, downward dog doing yogi. This is the best metaphor I ever heard about these “two friends”. (Shot Lisa!)

But the converse of this?

Signs that these two girls are causing you trouble?

Too much or too little Estrogen or out of balance in ratios with Progesterone? You now have a temperamental, mood swinging, angry dancer, who will more likely stomp the floor than sashay across the room. And just to make that point in that moment.

You may experience bloating, irregular periods a decreased sex drive when the levels are too high. If they are low, you may experience irritability, anxiety, rage and sleeping problems.

Low progesterone? You have no yin. No ability to calm down, all go, all the time, zero chill, lots of anxiety.

You may experience weight gain, decreased sex drive, mood swings and depression.

High Progesterone– you are pregnant. Yes, this is the hormone that keeps increasing upon falling pregnant and keeps the baby safely in the womb. Congratulations!

 

Final Wench- Testosterone. The “Horny” one.

Yep. Not just a boys only zone. Yes girls, we have testosterone too.

The ovaries produce testosterone as well as estrogen.

Testosterone is important for developing lean muscle mass, bone strength as well as feeling energised.  And yes, just like boys, testosterone can be thanked for our libido, or how “horny” we feel.

Signs you are not in your ideal Testoster- ZONE?

If this hormone is low, you can feel a loss of sexual “horniness” or satisfaction, depressed, weak or lethargic. High levels of Testosterone can mean acne, increased muscle mass, frontal balding, infertility and is commonly associated with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

 

And there you have it, only some of the wenches that can cause so many problems in your daily life.

It is totally normal to feel that you are a combination of any or all of the wenches when out of whack.

As said in Part I, the hormonal system is a beautiful yet complicated one that can take a lot of tweaking and investigation before you are back on track to great health.

Even then, hormonal complications can often be misdiagnosed or attributed to other health complications. (TRUE STORY: a friend recently went in for appendicitis surgery to only find out post-surgery that the reason for her intense stomach pain was ACTUALLY due to a burst ovarian cyst.! She actually had a healthy Appendix- Surgeon still took it out though??!!!)

So, what do you do? If any of this resonates with you, get in touch with your GP and demand a comprehensive blood test for starters. Seek an expert who will listen to you when you tell them “I just don’t feel right”.

Find someone who will not just look at your blood tests, which may present in the normal range, but will also consider some of the physical symptoms you are presenting- someone who likes to solve puzzles.

Arggggh, hormones, why you got to be so complicated?

Good Luck- get in touch if you need advice.

 

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