Self-Love- Do you even?

Self-Love- Do you even?

Catchy title, right?  But what does self-love even mean? And just so you know, this blog will not give you the answer.

With the current climate on social media being all about spreading gratitude and kindness, is there any sincerity in the self-love revolution?

I am old. I can now read some posts and think wow! Just wow… to myself, sometimes out loud. I am far closer to 50 than I am to 21. My head has finally caught up to my chronological body years. I am “down” with this as I enjoy my wise old wit and the confidence that comes from experience the years of revolving the sun gives me.

I know people well, not actual people, well some of them, but the life stages of people. I now smile to myself out of personal amusement when a teen(20-something) comes to me for advice after their latest life crisis. Not that I am laughing at their situation, no way… this stuff is intense, but smiling at the quaintness of it all in the scheme of life. Bit like my Nan when she would say “I remember when…”

Lately I have been smiling at the intensity of drama and Judas-like stuff. I smile as in reality I would cry at the fakeness. There is gossip, back-stabbing, self-loathing and anger. The sort of behaviour and comments that will “throw a person under a bus” in an instant and conversations that I try to stay clear of. On social media however, the posts are all sunshine, rainbows, unicorns, love you boo and you get it girl. HAHAHAHA! It is so frenemy I have to laugh.

I was made aware of this and how I looked at social media as my husband has joined Instagram recently after years of not caring. He has made no posts yet and follows 4 people… me, The Rock, a cool cat named Suren and Karim Benzema…oh wait and Sir John Kirwan- we love that man.

He has made 2 resounding statements since joining IG –

  1. Babe…. this is PORN!
  2. Aye? I know this person and they say nothing like this/ are not as nice in real life.

I treat social media with lots of fun. I have to, as otherwise it is way too easy to be obsessive with it all. It is fun, a good way to get some content out there and I love I can connect with anyone in the world. I have had some pretty meaningful DM’s (direct messages) and conversations with people that I have inspired or that I have reached out to. I have said something, or someone has gained my attention and I have resonated with them. I love this.

But yes, you are looking at someone’s highlight reel where images can be altered, poses are deliberate, and their words may not be their own.

There might be a supportive thumbs up in your stream of comments but that person is ripping you to shreds privately. This is human nature. This is life.

Know yourself first rather than blindly following your latest hero or fitness trend.

More importantly, love yourself. The love you experience online is not always followed through in life.  Ever experienced someone whom is nice to your profile to get a “follow for follow” or generate “popularity” for their own account but would not give you a second glance in real life? Is there a name for this? I feel like there should be. We all know it. Put less emphasis on the opinion of others. I do not think that these are particular shocking statements to make.

But, I am about to shock you.

Not everything you see or read is REAL on social media.

Haters will say it’s fake… because it is, sometimes.

It is true, there can be a level of fallacy on social media. That saying “seeing is believing” … not so much on the Insta. I am all down for people doing their own thing and following their own journey, but I am not cool with the “selling of a dream” to naive punters who truly believe every word and follow every instruction given, like a Bible, but do not get the same results.

Here is why.

The punters take a mental beating and blame themselves and end up hating their beautiful, amazing bodies. Now, I do not doubt that there is definitely a lot of hard work that goes on behind some of the “movie reel” scenes, but is it always down to nutrition and training or has there been photoshop, surgical or medicinal help?

Own your truth. Tell it how it is. Save someone a mental breakdown.

To be honest, I am no expert on identifying help as mentioned and am of the naive (blind) variety where I believe everything is honest, full of integrity and take everyone at their word. In the whole world.

I believe in the best, and honesty, of everyone.

But if you have amazing muscle mass by a round of whatever, then own it. If you are an orthorexic or closet anorexic who is still obsessed and scared by calorific intake “trying” to recover, own it. If you achieved your perfect body by surgical enhancement and you feel great, own it. It is the pretending and half-truths in the name of health I have issue with. I call it false hope.

I love it when someone owns their opinion or story. Warts and all. Your experience forms your own thoughts and that is cool in my books. I love to hear counter arguments backed up from a different world view and I never claim to be perfect- read my earlier blogs. At times, I have been a disaster. If anything, I like to highlight these imperfections. But I own it.

Have no doubt, if I like you in person, I’ll like you on social. However, in my head, of course I am turning that “to” you wrote into “too” and “your” into “you’re”. That stuff cracks me up. I’ll still have a cup of coffee with you or send you an emoji though.

I feel there is no better way to wrap up this spiel then with a song quote for some inspiration.

I am talking Haddaway. A Night at the Roxbury.

“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.”

Jeekers! I really am old.

2 thoughts on “Self-Love- Do you even?

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